I can't take the pain...

man... I've finally gotten to a point: I'm isolated in this world...
God forbid that I waste my youth!
sorry, Father, I know that I'm spending it for You (and for my future...)
but I miss enjoying the fun and the things that can only be done now!
nah...
boring...
thought of "According to John", the song "Heaven forbid"...
"God only knows" what I'm talking about
may He forgive me if I misplace my words, I'm not tired of the Kingdom working, or complaining about it
just my life, as human, godly and saint human
could be lighter... oh, 'cmon, I'm a youngster! a very uncomon and different one... and alone in this world btw, that's what seems!
no, I'm not an "emo"... just not feeling like I'm making the most of my now available features in the better way possible! pleasing my Lord and everything...
I don't fit in anything! not only this world, what I really don't care about in this point, but mainly in my age, what should be the closest to the natural expected for my age and life stile (JESUS of course!) and mainly my social, cultural and every "al" aspect of life!
...yeah, I get it... I'm just so complicated...
blah!