not a failure...

just different!...
oh well... I must be pretty boring or something... I don't get it what might be the dael w/ me... must be w/ me, it wouldn't be everybody else's issue!
now, I don't know what I could do, IF I should do something...
man, I don't wanna become an "emo", but I see not many ther options!
or just sit and sing: "nobody loves me, nobody loves me!"...
I should be laughing... I always manage my relationship problems kinda well... or not, I may not be realizing that...
only few people really remember be, most of my so called "friends" that are now married... and sometimes I have the impression that I might be annoying even them...
what is the point w/ me!? I swear, I really don't understand!
if anybody there knows the answer, or any hint that could possibly help me in any way, please, let me know, must be something I'm not seeing and everybody else is! or something like that! I don't know!!!.....
there might be other people in this world feeling lost like this... I hope so, not for the bad of them, but I'm not alone and we might one day ending up helping each other in some way... it's ssssssso confusing! might even sound stupid!
it's not any kind of "teenager issue" or "identity crisis"... it's really something I can't see what the problem is! and when I realize, I'm already left aside...
if it's something about me, I need to know so I can fix it! it's not nice to be so alone as I am being, as a young woman, in my early 20's, who used to be well accepted as friendly and trustful... mainly to adults, but now seems like I sufocate everybody, they just want to stay away from me!
hope it's just an impression, but seems way too real!... I feel it, please, I'm no that crazy... I don't like to appear fragile, but I am, nobosy likes to be pushed aside like some undesirable being... mostly when you do your best always, try hard to continue being nice to everybody, but all of the sudden, people just stop liking you or something like that!
don't pity me or feel sorry, this is not the point, and if you want to help, I don't know, talk to me, help me open my eyes to the things I can't see by myself! everyone has issues like this! in one way or another... and pray for me if you realçy care for my person, cause right now, I'm in need for my good friends, indeed!
those ones I've always been there for, and I know I have, this all is not going to stain all my deeds as a trustworthy friend and person, as a good worker and teacher.
I reckon my role! if nobody else does, well, I have to, right!? it's my life... I try to live my best for other as well, but I seem sorta unacceptable!... ok, people are losing a great friend, I'm totally capable of comitting myself to anything I'm into, I know me... I'm an all time in love person, one of a kind... I just want to fit in? no... I want to be part of other people's lives just for caring about them! but I can't force it, right!? but I also want people who care to be part of mine, I am able of giving up on myself for others, and I believe everybody needs some of it... caring! and so as we also need people giving on some of their lives due to us, our importance in this world, in their lives... investing, just like I'm willing to do, and I do, even if you don't realize, just by being typing this...
I'm a therapist in my heart, and I know what it means to care... but we also need a lot of caring too! and seems like the more i care, the more I'm alone, left alone... hope it's not conscious... not blaming anyone...
well, this post has reached way too long... and I feel a little lighter by now... yeah, better!
thank you, blog, for having and accepting me! hehe and for whomever is going to read this someday, maybe... and by then, I might probably be facing other situations, hopefully, totally differente in aspect and concernings! that's it, I'll never lose my faith and hope!... I'm always expecting the best... I get frustrated a lot, but I dream a lot too, and this is such a good thing... keeps us alive!
helping one another...

"And I don't want the world to see me, cause I don't think that they'd understand, when everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am...!"